Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
