Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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