So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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