I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
