Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry lickalotapuss hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(314): View more from Missouri

sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.

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(206): View more from Washington

A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings

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(502): View more from Kentucky

you would pick up someone in the library

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(843): View more from South Carolina

You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

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(858): View more from California

Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago

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(765): View more from Indiana

I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro

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