You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
