Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize