"it" just moved
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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