I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
