Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
