we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
