Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
