All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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