I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
