Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
