i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
