I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
