dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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