Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
