Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
