i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I love you.
Bad choice
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