you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
