Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
