I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
