Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
