Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
