We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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