i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
