HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize