My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
