It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
