Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
