Can i not drive my cunt home
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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