I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
