How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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