he puts the penis in happiness.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize