I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
