Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
