I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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