hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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