somebody snuck up and got me drunk
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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