OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize