We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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