I love black thongs
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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