brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
