Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
