I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
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