dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
