So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
