i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
