when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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