I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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