So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
