and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
