Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
