Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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