Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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