I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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