I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
