I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
