someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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