Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
