A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
