My first STD was from a foam party
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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