It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize