i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
