Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
