would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
