Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
