i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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