the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
