so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize